As a homeschooler I am often face with weird questions like,
“Aren’t you afraid if your kids don’t go to public school they won’t learn how to deal with bullies?”
Or
“You know, your kids can’t just do whatever they want forever, eventually they will have to do stuff they don’t want to do and it’s going to be hard.”
First thanks for your concern but I’m ok with my decision to homeschool.
Ask any public school parent and I am confident they will agree it won’t matter if you send them to school or homeschool or travel or other and eventually our children will have hard things happen to them.
When our kids say this is hard.
We need to listen. Not shame them.
We needn’t say things like this:
“Things are going to be hard one day and therefore you have to do this hard thing and do work you don’t want to do because one day you will have to do things you don’t want to do, so do this!”
That won’t serve them now.
Or your relationship with them.
Let not talk like our children “owe us” effort because they are going to encounter hard things later.
Hard things are hard. They need our support and love and understanding.
Imagine labour pains without a hand to hold? Or imagine trying to get a term paper done or running a marathon and someone says to you - “you better just do it. Things are hard.”
How do we get through hard things?
We have support.
We have incentives, trophies, ribbons, free nanas and donuts. Certificates and ceremonies.
We hopefully have a hand to hold and shoulder to lean on. We celebrate our process and we have a reward for ourselves afterwardsa and sometimes during.
When things are hard we need to ask our kids. How can I support you through this hard thing? How can we sweeten the deal?
They have ...
A long paragraph to write? A tough soccer game to get through? A difficult book to read? A bully to deal with?
How can we help you?
Brownies after?
Special time with mom?
Playtime and chat?
Sit with them through it?
Chunk up the assignment?
Ask them what can we do to help?
Ask them “How much effort can you give me?”
Don’t Shame them into it.
Partnership. Together!
Make cookies. Sweeten the deal!
Just food for thought.
