Monday, January 31, 2011

love

When I watch my son playing quietly with his trucks and talking to himself, I could burst with the love and admiration I have for him.

amanda

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Rain Rain Rain

Really? Rainy Saturday? Really?

Is it too much to ask for global warming? Where is the sun?

Why is balance so difficult in ones lives?

To balance... business, husband, dog, children, pregnancy, friends, hobbies, home renovations, truck maintenance, financial records and budgeting, housework, personal hygiene and upkeep, and self discovery.

Oh well, just another rainy sunday, guess I'll watch tv.

ha ha.

Amanda

Friday, January 28, 2011

better than television

Today Geran did the cutest thing ever... well so far anyhow.

Geran came into the other room and asked me 'bum, bum' signing diaper and saying, "bum, bum."
I thought he had to go pee and followed him down the hall, thinking we were on our way to the bathroom, yeah!
Until he turned a corner into his room and pointed to his large, white stuffed puppy" who was conveniently put on the diaper change table, I assume place there by Geran.

Of course I had to put a diaper on his bear, which Geran was sooo happy about.
Hugging and kissing the stuffed puppy (which is almost the same size at him)
Then he came into the kitchen, with puppy in arms, signing and saying, "buba, buba."
So I had to get a bottle with some water in it so he could feed it to the large white stuffed puppy.
Which he proceeded to do and then giving the puppy kisses and hugs, saying, "puppy, puppy."

So adorable.

 Amanda

Thursday, January 27, 2011

website

For those interested my new baby sign language website is: http://www.babysignsprogram.com/withstickyhands/

Many changes fast

I am officially running a baby sign language business...

I set up my website today. Yeah for me!
I started advertising on meetup.com
I called Welcome Wagon today as I am going to be a part of the Baby Shower Trade show this March.
I guess there is no turning back now!

My husband, James got some more drywall put in the soon to be baby sign classroom. The carpet is ordered and to be paid for next week.

I feel a whirl wind of emotions... excitement, strength, empowerment, fear, anxiety, giddy and nervous all at once.

Lucky for me, I have a very supportive family.

Talk soon,

Amanda

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Emotional Visit

My husband and I went to see the Maternity Group in Abbotsford today. I have chosen to have my prenatal care closer to home. I received very conflicting news. For those of you who know me, it has been my desire to give birth vaginally but to no avail. My first son, now 19 years old, was birthed by a c-section due to slow progress in labour. My second son, Geran was also delivered c-section, even though I had a Doula, read up on everything and had amazing information and support. I have been twice dissapointed and emotionally damaged from not being able to give birth the way God intended.

The stats shock me, when I read about how many young, healthy women are having c-sections. When did this 'new way of birth' happen. It is a horrible advancement into technology birthed by rushing physicians. In my strong opinion. More and more women are given less than 24 hours of labour before being pushed into c-sections. Something is wrong.

Today I talked with my very understanding midwife and she sympathized with me, but had to tell me that my hospital. (the brand NEW, beautiful Abbotsford hospital) doesn't support VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section), if you have had 2 cesarean births in the past. Even though my first birth was over 19 years ago. The Langley hospital is the same. So if I want even a chance to give birth to my third baby by vaginal delivery, I have one option: go to Vancouver and see BC Women's Power to Push OB and see what my chances are. Then decide if I am willing to drive out to Vancouver Hospital to give a trial birth.

Why are women's options limited in today's advance world?
Is it $Money?
The reason these local hospitals do not support VBAC after 2 cesarean births, is that they have no 24 OR. There are no surgeons at the hospital 24 hours, therefore if there is a problem, I may have to wait 20min for a doctor to arrive to give an emergency C-section, which my midwife will NOT be called in or allowed in the OR, because they would have to pay her and won't. Even if the patient requests her caregiver to be there.
Wow, I had no idea that so many other people could be invested on how I chose to have MY baby!

This may seem like a bit of rant, but really it is just an emotional view on how I see things. Check out the website: http://www.powertopush.ca/
At least there is one place that believes in supporting women like myself. The only place in the entire province, actually. It could be worse, I could live somewhere up north, no where near such a facility.

I made an appointment to discuss the possible risks that I may encounter if I chose VBAC. I only wish I would have talked with them before I had my second son, maybe I would have had a successful VBAC.

At least I will have post and prenatal care from the midwives and doctors at Fraser Valley Maternity Clinic regardless of what the OB and I choose is the best option for the birth.

In the end I want a healthy baby and a healthy me. I am so lucky to have the support of such a wonderful Doula, who directed me to this clinic and power to push in the first place. With all this support around me, I can't help but have a happy, healthy birth, either by vaginal or cesarean birth

My biggest hope is that family and friends support whatever decision my husband and I make on the birth of our baby. It is hard to explain how one feels, when no one you know feels this way or has gone through this.

Thanks for 'reading'.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Another Rainy Tuesday

Took the two little ones to drop in today... seems to take up my whole morning, changing, feeding, dressing, packing, driving, playing, dressing, changing, feeding... and then trying to remember to change, feed and dress me. (shower if I'm lucky) he he.

Tough night sleeping. I think we were up every hour, maybe baby was kicking, but I didn't notice. Feeling very pregnant today. I'm pretty tired, heavy and slow. But still super happy. I have a great family and wonderful friends.

I like to chant my mantra a lot, "I'm too blessed to be stressed."
Everyone should have a mantra.

Tip for the day:  Write down ONE affirmation for yourself. Give it lots of details and make sure you attach a feeling to it. Post it in your bathroom mirror. Keep it there for over 2 -3 weeks and tell me if you feel different about it afterward.

My affirmation I will write TODAY! (promise) is: "When I go to yoga, I feel empowered, relaxed, fit and at peace"  This will motivate me not to miss another week of yoga.

Geran is learning so much every day. I remember last week he didn't know how to make the propeller on his helicopter turn.... his little hands kept getting in the way. And now this week he can turn the propeller with rhythm. How do they learn so quickly?
He is also learning pretend play already. Taking animals and making them talk, feeding them, flying them around. He's been doing it for a couple months, just thought I would note it now. I thought about Dustin, my older son, he didn't know how to do this for a long long time. It is really neat seeing the developments.

Take care of each other out there in cyberspace.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Friends and prenancy

How do keep your friends during pregnancy and do you want to?

After 17 months with my new son, Geran, I was surprised that I hadn't lost all my friends. I did make an effort to make it out to the 'girlfriend' events, even when I felt like crap. Even just showing up for an hour and politely excusing myself early from the party made me appear to be a "trooper." My girlfriends were both impressed that I came out and understood when I had to leave because of exhaustion or having to get up early with the baby. I think if  you had understanding friends before you gave birth, you will probably have that same understanding after.

That said, I caution new moms to put pressure on their single friends to be there or understand exactly what you are going through. The friends I thought would be there for me, after the birth of my baby, just simply weren't. The friends I thought would not be there for me, were. It was a bizarre view and I got to know different sides of my friends. Even thought I knew these people for over 15 years before babies. Friends that had more empathy had offered to bring food, babysit, clean up or just drive me somewhere. These were friends I hadn't expected to know that I needed these things. It was an absolutely wonderful surprise as I had no family to help out. I have no sister, aunt, close cousin living near me. I did rely on my friends for emotional and physical support. Especially after my c-section.

I had to be wary of my feelings for those friends that weren't around to help out, or didn't understand or have empathy to what I was going through. At first I was hurt and angry and wanted to write them off as friends. But instead I kept up the friendship what I could. Now 17 months later, all my friendships are intact. I have to admit I have formed closer bonds with those who have been there for me, but I haven't outright lost the other friend, either. I don't judge them for not being here for me, I just have indifference and a calmness about it.

I believe each relationship gives and gets something out of that relationship. What I get out of my friendships with those not interested in hearing "when my child poo'd in the toilet for the first time" is something different. I find the friends not interested in potty training tend to be more interested in me as a person and who I was before the baby. They are interested in my dreams, ideas, thoughts and it allows me not to loose all of myself into motherhood alone. I still need to find time for me in my writing, scrap booking, art, exercise etc...

I learned to value what each friend can offer.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Days

The days are turning into months. How does this happen? Too much rain? Not enough sleep? I watch my little 17 month old boy developing little person skills every day. So cute to watch. I feel the life growing inside me, moving about, as if from a scene in Alien. Sometimes I am jolted from the couch with a large kick from inside. Scares me and makes me laugh at the same time. Geran, my 17 month old, thinks everyone has a baby in their tummy. He lifts his shirt and points to his belly button, saying, "baby, baby." Too cute.
Wish I had more time to play and work less. I am trying to finish my business plan to hand into Community Futures for review. They are helping me set up my baby sign business. I feel consumed by life today. Lucky I have a little one to relieve the stress and laugh off these moments.

Friday, January 21, 2011

First Time

Well, this is my very first blog. I am now part of the social media world! I have to say this will be an exciting adventure as is every part of my life. I have a 17month old son, who has taught me all about the unexpected adventure of life. My husband and I now have a new little one on the way this May. We found out the sex of the baby with my son, Geran, but with this pregnancy, we decided to wait for the surprise. I love surprises. I plan on teaching the new baby sign language as well. I taught Geran from birth and his first sign to me was milk at 4month old. Of course he was just copying me, but later by 6 months he was asking for milk on his own accord. It was a very exciting time. It will be interesting to see if Geran teaches the new baby sign as well. He now knows over 50 words in sign. Of course, he is started to talk more everyday and I have noticed his signs do drop away when he masters the words. Well talk to all later, have a great weekend!