Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Abraham Lincoln said,"We are as happy as we decide to be."

How can I do it? My entire goal in life is to be happy. I chose this, I know this I want this.

Now, how can I get through my entire day and stay happy?

How can I NOT allow the kids/dog/neighbour/bus driver etc to affect my mood?

I am the deciding factor of my mood, my day. In fact with my actions and behaviour I know I can actually affect others around me and change any of their bad influences and moods.

So who is stronger me or them?

I wake up everyday and I EXPECT to have a great day. So when the babies start whining, fighting, destroying the house etc. How can I nip this in the but? When the hubby comes home moody, or the neighbour once again barks about something I have no control over, how can I brush it all off? How can I let that stupid driver who just cut me off get away with it? Do we have the skills to move forward, think positive and carry on?


1. We must remember we cannot change others and how they act. We can only change our reaction to them.

2. We can choose to ignore their negativity. If my 4 year old is in a mood, I could just turn the music up and start dancing, couldn't I? I could give him a hug and say, "wow, sounds like your having a hard day. I hope it gets better, know that I love you." I could start singing badly and out of tune, I could act silly. I could carry on with my day and ignore it.

3. I could reply with a smile. Show them they have NO power over you. Don't allow your neighbour, your bus driver, store clerk, your tiny children to have more power than you by letting them affect your mood. YOU have the power to SMILE and be polite and walk away if you can.

4. If it is someone close to you, be honest and tell them that their attitude is unacceptable and you want none of it in your life. I have told my grandmother, mother, father and other important people in my life that their negative behaviour or complaining was not helpful and I wasn't in a good place to hear it right now. I asked them to stop and changed the subject. I use to fight with my ex a lot AFTER we broke up. He would call and try to fight with me. I finally got smart and said if your angry, call me back when you feel better and I dont' mind talking then. I would warn him if he didn't stop attacking, I would hang up. And then I DID! He got so use to me, that when I would warn him, he would quickly say sorry and move on to the subject at hand. It took months to teach him.

5. And most important of all - never reciprocate negativity. Rise above it and kill them with kindness. My mother always said this, "Kill them with kindness." She said, "You can catch more bees with honey my dear." And she was right. In the checkout line if I see a grumpy cashier. I get ready with my armour, I put on my smiles and I say, "Good morning, what's the good news?" It throws them off at first, they usually say nothing, but it's funny because more often than not, they think it over and begin 'searching' their database for 'good news' and they FIND it!  I have a few examples of this actually. One time, this really grumpy person said, "NOTHING. There's nothing good going on with me."  I said, "Oh I'm sure you can find something good. I just got a chq in the mail I wasn't expecting, that was cool." Then they think on it, and this guy said, "Well actually I'm learning French right now and I like it." We began talking about Montreal and french and traveling and by the time I left with my Subway sandwhich in hand, he was actually smiling.

Remember YOU have the power over your day. If others are 'getting' to you...

-changing subjects
-asking about good news
-changing scenery... when my boys are grumpy, we take a nap or better, we go for a walk - works everytime
-introduce new ideas/books/videos
-watch a funny comedy
-read a funny book
-DON'T watch the news or read newspapers
-go for a drive
-get some ice cream
-start to dream - clip out pictures or search Pinterest or internet for pictures of what you want and print them out! Pin them up, stare at them and dream, smile while you do it
-call a friend you know is ALWAYS happy and in a good mood

You can shape your day. You are the attitude that will shape the storms in your life.

Happy Living!

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