Recently I've been holding onto some old habits and old ways of thinking. The thoughts have been filled with doubt and a bit of fear. With my now 23 year old a new school year meant a new school year filled with uphill battles and advocated arguments. I didn't look forward to new teachers, new hassles, new problems. I didn't have a lot of 'faith' in what was the come.
Lately with all the teacher talks, a lot has resurfaced, memories have been creeping their way back into my head.
Last night I was reminded to have faith. To enjoy the process. I have been living my life in a different way for many years now and it's time to get rid of old ways of thinking. I am armed now with positive thoughts, better books and a different life. I have different children and a different journey. I am learning to let go of negative arguments in my head and allow a process of faith that everything works out. Cause it does and always has.
Even when bad things happen, it seems that the universe was just saving you from something worse. A stall on the freeway could be your blessing that you missed the accident up ahead. One time I was waiting for a parking spot in the hospital emergency section and just as I was watching my predesesor leave his stall, another large black truck stole my parking spot. At first I was mad, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself I was only there to drop something off to a nurse friend. No one I knew was hurting, everyone was in good health. I imagine that he needed that spot more than I did. Maybe I was simply saving that spot for him. I smiled and drove around again to find my friend out the front door waiting for me, I didn't need a parking spot after all.
I am learning to let go of the small stuff. I have found a lot of great books in the last couple years and this year a great book found its way to my hands called, "Outrageous Openness." by Tosha Silver. Thanks to a good friend of mine who gave it to me for a birthday present. It was just what I needed when I needed it. Which is kind of the basis for this book.
She reminds me that everything will unfold as it should.
I need to let go of my Ego, my forced will.
I need to stop trying to force a bud to flower or
Push a rock uphill.
When I let go, breathe, take my worries to a higher power
I can relax and allow the universe, God, the Devine, whatever you believe in
To just take the wheel and guide my way.
It's a lot more relaxing sitting on a ferry enjoying the waves
Then it is trying to shove and squeeze my way into a parking spot I probably wasn't meant to have.
Just for today and maybe this week lets all try to let go of preconceived notions and just enjoy the ride of life. Allow the community around you to grow with you. Be the best of who you are and show the world your smile. Allow your peace to transfer to others. When it comes to kids, watch them, they are experts at taking their time, letting things happen and enjoying this wide world we have.
Happy Parenting!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
Unfaltering faith
I discovered when I was quite young how special I was. I believe it was about grade 3 that people starting to try and tell me how unspecial I was. It was at this time that I discovered I knew something they didn't. I had an unfaltering belief of my talents, abilities and faith in a God I had never met. Kids can be cruel, you heard the saying. But that isn't really it, kids are just kids. They hear and repeat and say things they learn from adults or others. I had this innate intuition that I have complete faith in no matter what kids said. I just knew it was wrong when kids had that much hate, jelously, greed, competition, and lack of faith in their hearts. I felt sorry for kids that couldn't' see the world the way I saw it. I didn't meet very many that felt that same way.
I always felt guided, directed and taken care of. I never felt lost, I always knew I had more power than others. They seems to struggle with the everyday. They seemed lost, confused, frustrated and totally confused on why I was so unalterably happy.
Many people throughout my life have tried to squish this intuition, this positive feeling that everything always works out.
Today I want you to have faith in yourself. Reflect on your talents, your strengths, and your dreams. Don't allow others to define you and your way of life, but reach inside yourself, find your affirmations and sing out your inner belief.
Give yourself a hug - do it now!
I always felt guided, directed and taken care of. I never felt lost, I always knew I had more power than others. They seems to struggle with the everyday. They seemed lost, confused, frustrated and totally confused on why I was so unalterably happy.
Many people throughout my life have tried to squish this intuition, this positive feeling that everything always works out.
Today I want you to have faith in yourself. Reflect on your talents, your strengths, and your dreams. Don't allow others to define you and your way of life, but reach inside yourself, find your affirmations and sing out your inner belief.
Give yourself a hug - do it now!
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Colour your day.
Perception is everything. There are always two stories. There are two ways to look at something. You have heard the cliche's before. I felt them come alive today.
My day:
My 3 year old learned how to paper mache today. He learned that newspaper tore in very different ways depending on the way you held the paper. He was patient for a long time and enjoyed mixing ingredients together. He concentrated and put his hands in the goo and placed each piece on his balloon carefully. He was attentive and involved at great lengths for a 3 year old boy. When he tried to help his brother, that balloon popped and no one cried and no one melted down. We talked about science and why the heat of the sun made the balloon pop.
My 5 and 3 year old boys snuggled up to me tonight and listened to stories. They were gentle and kind to each other in the evening when we shared popcor. They offered snacks to each other and used manners during a movie.
The boys played at the park and met new friends. They showed them how to play Go, Go Stop.
My 5 year old wanted to learn how to spell words and work in a big kid workbook. He asked lots of questions about science today.
Each of the boys hugged and kissed me many times. They helped put their dishes away. They learned to count quarters and bought treats at the corner store with their own money they earned from cleaning up.
They played quietly in their room just before bed after brushing their teeth and learning to floss by themselves. The said they loved me and they giggled with each other into the night.
It was a wonderful day.
My day:
The 5 year old woke up crying and was whiney all morning. He hit his brother and he hit me when he was angry about getting a toy. The 3 year old spilled his milk all over the table and then began to 'slide' around in it with his bare feet.
The 3 year old threw his dry towels into the kiddy pool. The 5 year old threw all their clothes they were wearining into the pool. I yelled at them, feeling frustrated. I told them they were being dumb. The 5 year didn't want to participate in paper mache and was making ruckus because he was jelous of the time I was spending with his brother. He got the 3 year old to leave the project and go inside and smush veggie stix into the carpet.
The 3 year old spilled cherrios all over the floor, the 5 year old spilled coins all over the floor after telling him not to touch the coins until we had a change purse.
The 3 year old tossed the clean folded clothes onto the floor.
The 3 year old refused to nap and kept coming out of his room for 40minutes before I gave up and just ignored him.
My husband has been away all day and won't be back until 11pm tonight. I have been cleaning up all day after mess after mess. They boys fought bedtime and the 3 year old was acting crazy because he was overtired. He hit me down the hall and threatened to spit at me. The 3 year old did eventually apologize. They finally fell asleep.
It was a hard day.
Now, which do I post? Both are true. What do I choose to think about, focus on and share? How do I want to retell my day?
We have choices everyday. Things happen all around us. What we focus on, what he feed into our minds and our hearts depends on us. We are responsible for our own happiness. It is about perception. It is about choice.
If I want to become a more positive person, a more happy person then I must choose to post the top portion of the day.
You have a choice to share with the world your successes. By doing that, you concentrate on that part of your life. You choose to hold those memories strong. You reflect on your day with a smile. You become that positive person you want to be. Replay the video in your mind of happiness.
Enjoy your day!
Your stories become your happy moments,
Your happy moments become your memories,
Your memories are your life.
-Amanda
My day:
My 3 year old learned how to paper mache today. He learned that newspaper tore in very different ways depending on the way you held the paper. He was patient for a long time and enjoyed mixing ingredients together. He concentrated and put his hands in the goo and placed each piece on his balloon carefully. He was attentive and involved at great lengths for a 3 year old boy. When he tried to help his brother, that balloon popped and no one cried and no one melted down. We talked about science and why the heat of the sun made the balloon pop.
My 5 and 3 year old boys snuggled up to me tonight and listened to stories. They were gentle and kind to each other in the evening when we shared popcor. They offered snacks to each other and used manners during a movie.
The boys played at the park and met new friends. They showed them how to play Go, Go Stop.
My 5 year old wanted to learn how to spell words and work in a big kid workbook. He asked lots of questions about science today.
Each of the boys hugged and kissed me many times. They helped put their dishes away. They learned to count quarters and bought treats at the corner store with their own money they earned from cleaning up.
They played quietly in their room just before bed after brushing their teeth and learning to floss by themselves. The said they loved me and they giggled with each other into the night.
It was a wonderful day.
My day:
The 5 year old woke up crying and was whiney all morning. He hit his brother and he hit me when he was angry about getting a toy. The 3 year old spilled his milk all over the table and then began to 'slide' around in it with his bare feet.
The 3 year old threw his dry towels into the kiddy pool. The 5 year old threw all their clothes they were wearining into the pool. I yelled at them, feeling frustrated. I told them they were being dumb. The 5 year didn't want to participate in paper mache and was making ruckus because he was jelous of the time I was spending with his brother. He got the 3 year old to leave the project and go inside and smush veggie stix into the carpet.
The 3 year old spilled cherrios all over the floor, the 5 year old spilled coins all over the floor after telling him not to touch the coins until we had a change purse.
The 3 year old tossed the clean folded clothes onto the floor.
The 3 year old refused to nap and kept coming out of his room for 40minutes before I gave up and just ignored him.
My husband has been away all day and won't be back until 11pm tonight. I have been cleaning up all day after mess after mess. They boys fought bedtime and the 3 year old was acting crazy because he was overtired. He hit me down the hall and threatened to spit at me. The 3 year old did eventually apologize. They finally fell asleep.
It was a hard day.
Now, which do I post? Both are true. What do I choose to think about, focus on and share? How do I want to retell my day?
We have choices everyday. Things happen all around us. What we focus on, what he feed into our minds and our hearts depends on us. We are responsible for our own happiness. It is about perception. It is about choice.
If I want to become a more positive person, a more happy person then I must choose to post the top portion of the day.
You have a choice to share with the world your successes. By doing that, you concentrate on that part of your life. You choose to hold those memories strong. You reflect on your day with a smile. You become that positive person you want to be. Replay the video in your mind of happiness.
Enjoy your day!
Your stories become your happy moments,
Your happy moments become your memories,
Your memories are your life.
-Amanda
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Higher Learning for Preschoolers
As children reach closer to the age of 5 or school age learning, the fears, anxiety, pressures and worries begin. Will my child do well in school? Should we homeschool? Do we pick French Immersion, Art School, Private School or another choice school? Who is my child, what can they handle, what can I handle? Will my decisions affect the rest of their life? Who will their teachers be? Their friends? Are they ready to cope? This is not always an easy transition for parents or children.
Parent know that this world has become a highly competitive world and because we want them to succeed we want them to learn as much as they can as fast as they can, but is that always the best way?
What have we learned about children and brain development in the last decade or so? The early years are critically important in the formation of thinking and reasoning skills. The brain begins to wire itself. The brain then continues to grow and learn throughout childhood and adolescence. The prefrontal cortex of the brain which is responsible for emotional regulation, impulse control and more adult forms of reasoning, does NOT fully develop until the age of 25 years old. 25 years old! Remember this the next time your frustrated with your 16 year old and their lack of self control or emotional stability.
For the first three years of a child's life, the brain is "under construction." In these years what he observes around him, experiences and decides about himself and others will become part of the wiring of his brain.
Q. What primes learning?
A. Stimulation from the outside world. When a child hears, touches, smells, tastes and sees something, this enable the brain to create or change connections in his wiring. These small windows could be missed and it may be more difficult to acquire these abilities later in life. Language development and vision are some of the earlier necessary learning that takes place. This is why pretend play can be so valuable and important. The parents that are excellent at pretend play have children will larger vocabularies and higher reasoning skills later on.
By the age of 10 a child's brain begins to 'prune away the synapses' that haven't been used enough. By adolescence, half have been discarded. For some functions, brain development is a 'use it or lose it' proposition.
Some parents worry their children may not be ready to learn when other children are. Should we be teaching them so many academics and flash carding them all time? Shouldn't we be smashing in as much information as possible right now before it's too late?
The truth is children learn in different ways.
Some researchers agree that it could actually be harmful to force children to learn too quickly or absorb concepts their brain is not mature enough to handle. You may be patching connections in the brain with information that is not fully understood and therefore is less effective and this may have an impact on this skill later in life because it was wired in wrong early on.
Forcing children to learn before they were ready may have psychological effects as well. They may experience self doubt, thinking they are not smart enough or good enough if they have difficulty mastering a concept. They may feel too intimidated to even try and therefore start to exhibit inadequacy behaviours.
The truth is young children learn best in the context of relationships and hands on learning. Brain development is about connections. How the caregivers relate to her, how you talk, play and nurture your relationship is far more important than how to count to 10. Children learn best when they are unstressed and when they live in a stimulating environment says Ross A Thompson, a professor at University of California and a founding member of National Scientific Council on Developing Children. (www.developingchild.net)
Play actually meets all the criteria a child needs to learn at this age.Since they learn best in the context of 'relationships' to others and their environment, what they need most is active involvement. Children learn by using their senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. They need opporunities to connect new information. Play allow this. Children usually want TO DO rather than watch. Let them get messy squeezing mud through their fingers or throwing your decorative pillows on the floor to become lily pads for him to jump across to the island you call a couch.
Q. How do we encourage play?
A. Lets say they learned something about snakes. You read some information about snakes, then on a nature walk, you encountered a Garter snake. You showed a video on this snake and later you observe your child playing with plastic snakes. Later still he is slithering on the ground hissing like a snake. You can encourage this learning. Become the mouse and let him chase you and eat you up. Tell him he's scaly or slimy. Play with him! He will learn much more about snakes and their habitat through your pretend play and it will wire itself into his memory to use later on when he may want a deeper learning about animals and habitats. Play is your child's way of working and developing his healthy brain.
Some tips on what is most important at such a young age.
-Demonstarting affection, interest and acceptance of your child
-Practice conversation, pretend play, open questions
-Read to them, with them, around them often
-Encourage hands on learning, curiosity, show them the resources
-Limit television time, there is no critical thinking going on, it is a very passive activity
-Use gentle positive discipline, do not shame, threaten or humiliate a child
-Recognize and accept your child's uniquness
-Provide learning through play, especially as a preschooler
-Select childcare carefully and stay involved
-Provide raw materials and hands on activities that they can choose and manipulate themselves
-Take care of yourself, children learn through observation how they should treat themselves.
Parent know that this world has become a highly competitive world and because we want them to succeed we want them to learn as much as they can as fast as they can, but is that always the best way?
What have we learned about children and brain development in the last decade or so? The early years are critically important in the formation of thinking and reasoning skills. The brain begins to wire itself. The brain then continues to grow and learn throughout childhood and adolescence. The prefrontal cortex of the brain which is responsible for emotional regulation, impulse control and more adult forms of reasoning, does NOT fully develop until the age of 25 years old. 25 years old! Remember this the next time your frustrated with your 16 year old and their lack of self control or emotional stability.
For the first three years of a child's life, the brain is "under construction." In these years what he observes around him, experiences and decides about himself and others will become part of the wiring of his brain.
Q. What primes learning?
A. Stimulation from the outside world. When a child hears, touches, smells, tastes and sees something, this enable the brain to create or change connections in his wiring. These small windows could be missed and it may be more difficult to acquire these abilities later in life. Language development and vision are some of the earlier necessary learning that takes place. This is why pretend play can be so valuable and important. The parents that are excellent at pretend play have children will larger vocabularies and higher reasoning skills later on.
By the age of 10 a child's brain begins to 'prune away the synapses' that haven't been used enough. By adolescence, half have been discarded. For some functions, brain development is a 'use it or lose it' proposition.
Some parents worry their children may not be ready to learn when other children are. Should we be teaching them so many academics and flash carding them all time? Shouldn't we be smashing in as much information as possible right now before it's too late?
The truth is children learn in different ways.
Some researchers agree that it could actually be harmful to force children to learn too quickly or absorb concepts their brain is not mature enough to handle. You may be patching connections in the brain with information that is not fully understood and therefore is less effective and this may have an impact on this skill later in life because it was wired in wrong early on.
Forcing children to learn before they were ready may have psychological effects as well. They may experience self doubt, thinking they are not smart enough or good enough if they have difficulty mastering a concept. They may feel too intimidated to even try and therefore start to exhibit inadequacy behaviours.
The truth is young children learn best in the context of relationships and hands on learning. Brain development is about connections. How the caregivers relate to her, how you talk, play and nurture your relationship is far more important than how to count to 10. Children learn best when they are unstressed and when they live in a stimulating environment says Ross A Thompson, a professor at University of California and a founding member of National Scientific Council on Developing Children. (www.developingchild.net)
Play actually meets all the criteria a child needs to learn at this age.Since they learn best in the context of 'relationships' to others and their environment, what they need most is active involvement. Children learn by using their senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. They need opporunities to connect new information. Play allow this. Children usually want TO DO rather than watch. Let them get messy squeezing mud through their fingers or throwing your decorative pillows on the floor to become lily pads for him to jump across to the island you call a couch.
Q. How do we encourage play?
A. Lets say they learned something about snakes. You read some information about snakes, then on a nature walk, you encountered a Garter snake. You showed a video on this snake and later you observe your child playing with plastic snakes. Later still he is slithering on the ground hissing like a snake. You can encourage this learning. Become the mouse and let him chase you and eat you up. Tell him he's scaly or slimy. Play with him! He will learn much more about snakes and their habitat through your pretend play and it will wire itself into his memory to use later on when he may want a deeper learning about animals and habitats. Play is your child's way of working and developing his healthy brain.
Some tips on what is most important at such a young age.
-Demonstarting affection, interest and acceptance of your child
-Practice conversation, pretend play, open questions
-Read to them, with them, around them often
-Encourage hands on learning, curiosity, show them the resources
-Limit television time, there is no critical thinking going on, it is a very passive activity
-Use gentle positive discipline, do not shame, threaten or humiliate a child
-Recognize and accept your child's uniquness
-Provide learning through play, especially as a preschooler
-Select childcare carefully and stay involved
-Provide raw materials and hands on activities that they can choose and manipulate themselves
-Take care of yourself, children learn through observation how they should treat themselves.
Creativity, Imagination and Flexibility - Raising kids 101
This morning my 4 and 2 year old were fighting a bit over a toy issue. The 4 year old would not allow the 2 year old to play with the big pirate ship. They each had their little men, but the cooperative play wasn't happening. When my two year old came to me, my first thought was awe, this sad little boy, How dare that 4 year old of mine not let him play! But I took a breath and asked what was going on. He said GG wouldn't let him play with the Pirate Ship. So I immediately got a small satchel of coins and passed it to the two year old and then I said quite loudly. Here is some pirate treasure, when you show this to the captain, he will let you on his ship.
Guess what? It worked. 1 cool idea at a time.
Guess what? It worked. 1 cool idea at a time.
Unschooling Update
Are you an unschooler? Do you have children between 3-10 years old? Would you like to work with other highly committed parents and their children 2 times a week for group learning experiences? Learn more at FreeSchool, opening in the fall. Group project building, hands on learning, field trips and more. The projects are child led, interest driven, natural, organic, eclectic and self directed.
To get on the waiting list simple follow these steps:
1. Like our page
2. Message Freeschool with your name, email/contact info, number and age of children
3. Keep checking back for opening date in Sept.
Free School: https://www.facebook.com/FVFreeSchool
Related links:
http://www.pwnhc.ca/teach/downloads/Project_Based_Learning.pdf
Pretty excited about our new journey.
Feel free to follow our forum on the Project Based Homeschooling Blog of Lori Pickert as well.
Under Preschool check out Starting a Group Project
http://project-based-homeschooling.com/forums/preschool/topic/starting-group-project
To get on the waiting list simple follow these steps:
1. Like our page
2. Message Freeschool with your name, email/contact info, number and age of children
3. Keep checking back for opening date in Sept.
Free School: https://www.facebook.com/FVFreeSchool
Related links:
http://www.pwnhc.ca/teach/downloads/Project_Based_Learning.pdf
Pretty excited about our new journey.
Feel free to follow our forum on the Project Based Homeschooling Blog of Lori Pickert as well.
Under Preschool check out Starting a Group Project
http://project-based-homeschooling.com/forums/preschool/topic/starting-group-project
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Rules of Kindness 50 tips
I read this great article, and I loved it so much I wanted to copy the idea for my own children. Feel free to share at least one of yours from each category and add it in the comments.
Tell your child:
1. I love you
2. I love you even when I'm frustrated with you.
3. I love you even when your mad at me.
4. I love you always behind any behaviour, I love you no matter what.
LISTEN
5. Even if you don't agree with what they say
6. Listen to kid songs over and over if they love it
7. To their questions
8. Even if your visiting, take a second and listen
9. For feelings behind the words
TRY
10. Using a kind tone
11. To eat, drink and sleep enough
12. Dancing, jumping, moving
13. Not being sarcastic
PLAY
14. Board games (over and over)
15. On the floor with the kids
16. Outside
17. 15mintues a day with no interuptions (no tv/cell/computer)
PRETEND
18. To catch their kisses in your hand
19. Your hugs and kisses tank are empty and they have to fill it
ASK
20. Why your feeling this way? HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired?)
21. What are you thinking?
22. What do you want to know more about?
23. How are you feeling?
24. What will happen next?
SHARE
25. The story of their name
26. How mommy and daddy met
27. That sometimes you struggle too
28. When you hold hands and squeeze it 3 times, it's a secret code you meaning, "I Love You"
GRATEFUL
29. For the little messes they make while becoming independent
30. Toys on the bottom of tub, cause one day they will be gone
31. Hugs and clingy love, cause one day it will be no more
TRUST
32. That everything will work out, it always has
33. Your child is more capable than you know
34. That you are enough
35. Your human and it's ok to make mistakes
LET GO
36. Of guilt
37. Of how you envisioned it to go
38. Of trying to be perfect or right
CHOOSE
39. To be happy
40. Find beauty
41. To carve our relaxing time for you
42. Show a kind face and calm body
KNOW
43. When you need a time out
44. When to say nothing and just hug
SHOW
45. Affection to your spouce and yourself
46. How to garden and enjoy outdoors
47. How much reading is part of your own life
48. How to whistle
AND
50. Smile when your child enters the room.
Original Idea:
http://creativewithkids.com/100-ways-to-be-kind-to-your-child/
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