late nights

What's with late nights and moms. Is it that our babies suck every hour of every day from us and so when they are in bed, we try desperately to attempt at filling up every single minute of that free time trying to boost our fun levels? ;trying to find a way of remembering who we are before children? Or are we just afraid of going to sleep cause then we have to wake up and struggle through another long day?

Even before kids, I was a night hawk. I find that as soon as 8pm rolls around, I am ready and raring to go and party. I use to go out after 8 and get home in the wee hours of the morning. Now I am woke all hours of the night, but I still have a hard time sending myself to bed.

Don't get me wrong, I love my boys and they fill my days with loads of laughter and fun. Like today, Geran, my two year learned how to run and jump into the pile of leaves I made him. It was wonderful. His first time experiencing something I used to do as a kid over and over again. My little 6 month old, Nashville, delighted in watching and laughing as the whole event went down. The crisp, blue sky and chilly air was a beautiful backdrop and I felt like I was in a Norman Rockwell painting. I could imagine the two boys in a year or two just fits of giggles racing to the pile of leaves... and I look forward to many more days like this.

Yet everyone sleeps and I am wide awake at midnight. What is wrong with me? Do any other parents feel this way? I want to sleep, but I love the quiet house, the trickling fish water and the small tapping of the keyboard. Maybe it is a writer thing. I love the peace at night and being alone with my thoughts.

Good night everyone.